Another big bang theory with IR moment.

Season 4, Episode 3. Scenario: Sheldon and Amy invent a game called Counterfactuals. They create alternative worlds in which one key aspect is different from ours and they pose questions to each other about a situation where that key aspect matters.


Question: In a world where rhinoceroses are domesticated pets, who wins the Second World War?

Answer: Uganda.
Argument; Kenya rises to power on the export of rhinoceroses. A Central African power bloc is formed, colonizing North Africa and Europe. When war breaks out, no one can afford the luxury of a rhino. Kenya withers, Uganda triumphs.

Various questions can be posed. First up the answer itself is deterministic and certainly some will have problems with it. But Sheldon is in various ways fan of determinism anyway, so just for jokes.

What IR theory applies? Not a clear cut. Central African power bloc that forms shows tendencies of hardcore realist power, always seeking expansion and becomes an imperialist power. It does so however through the use of soft power - rhinoceroses as domesticated pet. In fact no real hard power is actually attributed to Kenya - it is just assumed so; since Kenya is earning hard currency through exports of rhinos, this economic strength is naturally translated into military occupation.

Constructivism plays its part as well. The black man is now the colonizer of the white Europe; there must be some sort of irony intended by Chuck Lorre. Joker. Putting constructivist theory the black men regardless of power are expansionist anyway. Potential real world security issues are hence flipped around - war on terror are no longer carried out in Africa, but perhaps in Europe. Extend this to Critical Theory, social relations between states are no longer western-centric, but Afro-centric.

If this was truly a world war, then where are power blocs formed? Kenya colonizes "Europe," which part? Even during the real Second World War the legacy of Scramble of Africa left African states on either Allies or Axis. What about Uganda? How does it simply defeat Kenya? 

Further question is, if Kenya were colonizing Europe, would Kenya or Uganda have existed in the first place as we understand them today? Would they be states? 

Of course, assuming that Kenya was somehow a state, Westphalian or not, would it be a tribal power? Would tribal clans be the new norm? Institutions such as international law would be based on tribal laws; the elder decides all. ICC will be redundant. Sharia in North Africa will still remain just as it has remained today despite colonial legacy from Europe. Christianity as well, although they will now be the inferior religion.

Ultimately, to colonize Europe Kenyans must cross the Sahara. Given that Europe scrambled Africa through the sea, Kenyans could arguably do the same, but technical difficulties are much harder to overcome. Kenya borders on the east with close access to the Gulf of Aden and Persian Gulf. Arguably if it has to colonize somewhat it will first be the Arab Peninsula and not Europe, because to go to Europe they would arguably have to first open up the Suez Canal. Given such thought in such a world Crusades might very well not be fought between Arab Muslims with European Christians, but with sub-saharan Africans. Of course the word Crusade itself would be politically incorrect - it would instead be whatever Kenyan tribesmen believe in.

Turning a deterministic conversation into something full of alternatives. Too many points stuck in logic impasse. But that's the point perhaps; you're not really supposed to think when Sheldon talks. Just listen.